Thursday, May 8th marked the date of the glorious student appreciation day put on by our very own Aramark Dining Center. The student participation numbers soared beyond the like of which we have never seen. While we sat down and waited for our delectable dinner, we had a chance to speak with a Rose-Hulman freshman Man, Chi Huen, or “Munchie.” “I didn’t even think this many students attended school here...” she stated inquisitively. Our food just then suddenly appeared on the plates before us! “Holy Cow! This is just like Hogwarts!”  Munchie exclaimed. We were all just wonderfully astonished. As the dinner went on, several students were reported charging their ID cards multiple times in fear that they were not paying enough for their meal. Overall, the Aramark Café and Lounge raked in approximately $15 million of revenue from last night’s event... which is rather mediocre at best. I would have thought they would have come out with at least $25 million with the entire community of Terre Haute knocking on the door to the student union. But, that was before I set my eyes on the fountain of eternal youth. After I saw a couple employes carting in a magnificent gleaming chocolate fountain, I thought I had won the treasured golden ticket. A mystical light was reflecting off the surface, and youth smiled at me as my hand grazed the glimmering surface.

"Could Not Retrieve any Tweets"