Countries in the World

1. United States of America

2. ‘Murica

3. Earth.S.A.

4. USA

5. Not Canada


6. Les Etats Unis

7. Los Estados Unidos

8. AMERICA!

9. The home of REAL Football

10. WWI/WWII Champions

 

Tragedies now Funny

1. Oedipus

2. The Titanic

3. Pompei

4. Atlantis

5. Romeo & Juliet


6. The Hindenburg

7. Nicholas Cage’s Career

8. Caesar’s Assassination

9. Hitler’s Mustache

10. Hamlet
Tragedies now Funny

 

Problems Fixed by Duct Tape
1. Complaining girlfriend

2. Worn Shoes

3. No wallet

4. Noah’s Ark

5. The Siege of Troy

6. Iron Man’s Suit

7. Your Java Code

8. The Dreamliner

9. Paint ripped off wall in your room

10. The Jurassic Park Fence

 

Names of Rollercoasters

1. Broke Neck Mountain

2. Tandem Brocycle

3. The Testosterone Volcano

4. Forever Falling

5. The Holster Rocket

6. Three hours of standing 2 minutes of terror

7. The Vomit Comet

8. The Devil’s Laundry Chute

9. The 90 Degree Rail

10. VertiGo

 

(Good) Homework Assignments

1. Just read the headlines of the chapter

2. Describe the major and minor fluid losses when your urine hits the water of the toilet

3. Write a one word response to “War and Peace”

4. Reach level 8 in Block Dude

5. Find out the buoyancy of your textbook

6. Call your mother while playing Call of Duty and try not to swear.

7. Read the first sentence of “Tale of Two Cities”

8. Beat the Elite Four

9. Put all of the equations for the final exam on your calculator

10. Go play in the lawn with this tripod.

 

Beginnings to (innapropriate) Comedy Lines

1. I’m sorry! Did my needle get the way of your...

2. This wedding is...!

3. How tall are you soldier!?

4. This one time at band camp...

5. Does he look like a...

6. You’re a peppy little...

7. The price is wrong...

8. Bruce, take a step back and literally...!

9. Paging Dr...

10. Littering and, littering and, littering and...

 

Best Movies with Nicholas Cage/Keanu Reaves as lead

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
...

 

Songs for a Romantic Evening

1. “Let’s get it on” Marvin Gaye

2. “Caress Me Down” Sublime

3. “Your body is a wonderland” John Mayer

4. “Never Gonna Give You Up” Rick Astley

5. “Not Fade Away” Buddy Holly

6. “Unchained Melody” Righteous Brothers

7. “Baby It’s Cold Outside” Margaret Whiting & Johnny Mercer

8. “Lay Lady Lay” Bob Dylan

9. “Come on, Get Higher” Matt Nathanson

10. “Bang a Gong (Get it On)” T-Rex

 

Nicknames for Historical Figures

1. Baberaham Lincoln

2. Brosef Stalin

3. Charlamegne “The Hammer”

4. Khal Brogo

5. rHitler

6. Bill “The Washington Monument” Clinton
7. Teddy “Westside” Roosevelt

8. Dazed and Confucius

9. No Sir Yasser Arafat

10. TrackBeard the Sprinter Pirate

 

Names for variables in code

1. MooseAndSquirrell

2. Stuff

3. MagicNumbers

4. Contour

5.ThisIsTheCodeThatNeverEnds

6. HiMom

7. Variable

8. TheFinalCountdown

9. ZeroZeroZeroZeroZeroZero

10.Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

"Could Not Retrieve any Tweets"