In a formal report issued on Thursday, mere days before his debut this year... reporters claimed that the ground hog is really confused by the recent weather patterns.  “Usually, I can pretty much tell if there’s gonna be several more weeks of winter by the sheer tendancies of the temperature and precipitation.” The ground hog reported, “However, I have no freakin’ clue what to tell the people this Saturday when they want answers on Groundhog’s Day.” Later in the interview, our concerned and vexed ground hog stated,   “In the recent weeks, the weather has gone from a frostbitten tundra where the only thing between you and certain death is an igloo and some whale blubber to a sun blistered Saharan day where you must dig a hole and bury yourself to escape the cancerous rays.”      Come Saturday, I really have no ounce of an idea whether the weather in Terre Haute is going to settle down or just remain on some sort of roller coaster from Hell.

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